Spring and stuff

March, as it happens, hasn't turned out quite the way I'd (we'd) expected.

Spring is definitely here. I've been doing my best to appreciate it. Looking out for new growth in the garden, enjoying sunny days, buying some new garden furniture, seeing my camellia burst into flower, having some work done to make the garden secure, enjoying Mother's day, making pom poms (in blue wool!) to turn into Easter chicks.

In amongst all this we have a sick child. Potentially she might be very, very sick. In the last weeks the medication and the surveillance have become second nature. There have been trips back to the hospital, where indecision and caution (and waiting, oh the waiting!) seems to be the name of the game, especially in paediatrics. I understand this being involved in healthcare professional education but it is frustrating.

How on earth do you get a 2 year old to take nasty tasting medicines? She's no fool and knows when it's coming! She's not up for bribery either anymore. If anyone says just point it on the inside of her cheek, they're seriously deluded by her capacity to struggle, not to swallow and just spit it out! Shes very determined (but not as determined as me!! Current vehicle of choice  Dairy Milk Pots of Joy - the irony!).

So I'm a little bit in denial about it all, a little bit let's wait and see what they say this week, a little bit preparing for the difficult discussion. What's surprised me the most is how easy it is to feign normal. And for the most part it is normal - her behaviour is that of a normal, happy 2 year old.  To look at her you would never know.

So I've been a little bit out of the loop. I've not really commented on anyone's blogs although I've been reading them I've not had the access (what is it with commenting on your phone?) or brain capacity to string together coherent thought.. I'm hoping that April will pick up and normal service will be resumed. Fingers crossed. In the meantime, bear with me.

Sunshine, nice things and waking up

Isn’t it amazing how a few days of glorious (in our case) sunshine and slightly warmer temperatures can improve your mood? Even with BigR waking up before 5am hasn’t dented my mood. I’m embracing the start of spring.

We had a lovely family weekend walking, eating out, a trip to town for a birthday present, playing in the garden, a birthday party and enjoying our new coffee machine (the caffeine addiction runs deep).

Even being at work today, in the bit of my job that has the hellish commute, I’m finding beautiful things, such as the view above.

In amongst all this I slept so badly. I’m not usually one prone to anxiety in the middle of the night. Usually it’s only the children that wake me but this weekend I suddenly awoke and was panicked. I’d forgotten to post out packs for a workshop and spent, what felt like hours, awake wondering what I was going to do. Anyway the first time I could rectify it was today. And I did.  What’s the worst that will happen? The packs won’t be available but the sessions can still run. I‘ve decided that:

:: I need to make more lists

:: I need to buy another notebook

:: I must delegate this sort of task to our new admin person who will be much better at this than me

:: I need not to worry about things when there’s nothing I can do anything about it

I’m looking forward to a random day off tomorrow that the ABO and I plan to spend together probably without the girls for a change. A little bit of time off for us all.

Cooking and understanding my place in the world

What a difference a few days or warmer weather and sunshine make? I really feel as though Spring has most definitely sprung. Seeing all the fab photos all over other’s blogs is really inspiring. One day I’ll sort out my camera and stop using my phone!

We had a good weekend. I managed to get the supermarket out of the way very early (thanks BigR for the pre 5am wake up!) and we could spend the rest of the time having fun.

On Saturday whilst LittleR napped we made fairy cakes (or buns as my Yorkshire lass says) and some more date and ginger slices for Daddy. She was very excited to be using the pink cupcake cases. We planned to ice them but they hadn’t cooled enough before LittleR awoke, so one had to be taste tested before that happened for quality control purposes.

We decorated them on Sunday…there can never be too much pink glitter. The lack of icing on the cakes is down to BigR not liking it! We used just enough to stick on the sprinkles!

I was inspired by Gillian to make some poached eggs with Colcannon. Usually my poached eggs don’t cut the mustard. I was quite proud of these two holding their shape. I used a mixed bag of cabbage as I didn’t have any Kale in the fridge and lots of black pepper. It was very, very tasty!

In keeping with my try a new recipe each month…for my evening meal, once the girls were in bed, I made Sue’s chorizo and chickpea rice. I forgot to take a picture of finished dish as I was far too hungry!! I used Chorizo from Tesco and found it to be a lot more piquant than others I have used. No less tasty for it though. There was enough left for lunch the next day which I had with a big salad. You can tell spring is here; I’ve bought salad! Also, this picture tells me I need to clean my pan handle more thoroughly!

I’ve had to google whether you should capitalise ‘spring’ or not. Apparently if you give the word a human trait you add a capital letter….everyday really is a school day!

Sunday saw playing with friends at their house due to inclement weather and the making of a Shepherd's pie and a beef casserole. Batch cooking at its best.

All this food activity meant I spent a happy few hours leafing through some cookbooks. I have 2 huge shelves of cook books and can’t stop collecting them. I’m not sure how much of this changes what we cook day to day, sometimes I think just be having them there things will go in by diffusion!  I have very practical books that I use regularly and plenty of fantasy books that I just read for pleasure (and look at the pictures for inspiration). This is what I perused over the weekend.

The Allegra McEvedy book was a ‘getting paid for the second time after going back to work’ treat. It’s got some lovely looking recipes in it that I may even try out!! I like recipes that have a bit of narrative to them as well. Nigel Slater is a favourite cookery writer. He really understands how to marry together words and food. I’m loving the Rose Prince book too! The River Cottage bread book is a staple. We should have made homemade pizzas but we ran out of time!

Once again I’m thinking about work and not working. It’s nice being paid and having that extra cash to buy books and glittery sprinkles, spending time having adult conversation and using my brain in non-childcare/household (read here cleaning) related tasks. I spent so long in education to get into the ivory tower of academia I’m loathe to give it up completely. Being an academic is part of my identity. A really important part of how I define me. So when I read this today I felt a mixture of relief that I wasn’t alone and despair. I earn a good salary but I’ve added up our childcare costs, how much it costs me to commute, and I have to conclude I’m not really in it for the money that’s left! I’m torn between caring for my children myself and having time as a family and being at work and perpetuating that part of my identity. Our School is in the middle of planning for an Athena Swan silver award, I’m part of the steering committee. It’s interesting as the leads are men, the loudest voices are men and they think they understand the pressures and that flexible working policies are the answer (mine could be a parking permit!). I guess it’ll be up to me to tell them where they’re going wrong!

Wondering in January

:: The phrase ‘the days are long but the years are short’ seems very true at the moment. The weeks go by very quickly at the moment even though I seem to be busy at work I spend time being ‘bored’. I love my job but I’m not ‘in love’ with it anymore and I have to say I’m a little shocked by this. Not sure what I’m (we’re) going to do about it as yet but I’ve been looking at the flexible working policy. Maybe I need to give it a little more time.

:: LittleR was 1 last week. There were presents and Grandparents and a Mary Berry Victoria sponge. It was all very jolly….even with teething thrown in.

:: To go alongside the teething we’ve also had colds. Everyone apart from me, with the ABO feeling the worst and doing the most (building Ikea furniture, going in the loft lots of times, preparing for the chaos).

:: Why is it that the traffic on Tuesday is busier than any other time of the week? I’ve often wondered this. It’s even more pronounced when it’s raining. Whilst I’m sat in the traffic I’ll ponder this some more.

:: I have finally started knitting my Knitting and Stitching show project. It’s this pattern by Sirdar and I’ve got 2 colour ways to do for the girls. So far I’m barely through the first dog’s body. I’m hoping the girls like them….when they eventually get finished!! My extremely competent knitter friend, S, has offered to do the second dog so the second girl isn’t left out…

:: I’ve been reading like a demon…however a demon reads that is. In so far as I have finished a book and am 30% (so my kindle tells me) through The Goldfinch. I'm loving it.

:: Have you noticed that it's lighter in the evenings? Is it too early to say this? I am aware of this as currently we haven’t any curtains in the dining room and it was light when the girls had their tea.

:: The kitchen chaos starts tomorrow. I'm already counting the days until we have a functioning kitchen again. I’ve made some freezer dinners, especially for the girls but am expecting a lot of sandwiches and jacket potatoes. Anyone have any good ideas for things to ‘cook’ in a microwave?