Coasting

I've said it before and I'll say it again, Where is the time going? Life here seems to be coasting, drifting if you will along a current of appointments and treatments for our youngest. There's been practical changes to our work arrangements (well mainly mine as being an academic is fairly flexible) as she can't go to nursery at the moment. We've become experts in her condition, in giving her medication, in undertaking daily tests, in knowing and understanding and negotiating the subtleties of the health service. It's hard advocating for your child, making decisions on her treatment which could affect her future, it's very hard. If I had a penny for everyone who has said to me "Ooh you'd never think she was ill would you" I'd be very, very, very rich. I know (for the most part) they mean well but it doesn't really help much. Of course, it is incongruous, a very ill child who's running round and doing forward rolls.  

Not wanting to be left out it's looking likely that our eldest has a nut allergy. Pistachios for certain. Other nuts? Who knows but she's not having nuts anymore. More referrals. More appointments. More tests. Even with 'insider' knowledge on navigating the health system it's exhausting.

But amidst this there is joy. 

I've laughed myself silly at Peter Kay's new comedy about a car share. i think it might be one of those that you keep coming back to. We've watched some more films - 24 Hour Party People (again), Alan Partridge - Alpha Papa (again), Silver Linings Playbook (which I loved as a book and the film was pretty good) and with the girls, Despicable Me. They are now officially minions crazy.

Another upside of being home more is more time in the garden. The girls love playing in the garden , although my plants and I aren't that happy with an enthusiastic 2 year old pulling and trampling on them.

I've been growing alliums again this year and finally, finally had success. I'm very pleased with myself!

My trusty azalea has burst into flower again, It's hot pink blooms really cheer a corner of the garden. I believe the old wive's tale too (that they like being moved) and took it on its annual walk round the garden (it is in a pot, I've not lost my mind that much) before it flowered.

I'm looking forward to a bounty of blueberries this year. LittleR ate the best part of a punnet today!

I've made a lot of new cakes but taken no pictures of them. Cherry cake, chocolate marble cake, (the offensive) pistachio cake.  I thank you Mary Berry and Fay Ripley.

I've been reading numerous cookery books and making a huge list of new things to try.

I still haven't gotten round to buying that mug. Although I did spot an interim replacement in Asda the other day. I love a puffin.

I'm reading your blogs but doing it from my phone means commenting is more challenging. I hope normal service can be resumed...eventually.

I am. I try to be. I am not.

I am

• Cold – all of a sudden it’s Autumn and Autumn with a vengeance. The sandals are gone. I need to get some new socks and dig out my boots.
• Enjoying days out – We went to the zoo at the weekend. LittleR was so, so, so excited to see a real elephant!
• Going on another cookery course next week. I've not really challenged myself with technique but chosen things we might like to eat again in the future. I’m still using the goulash recipe I learnt a while ago very regularly.
• Making lists. Of things I need to do at work. Of things I need to remember to do at home. Of things to make. Of ideas for things for the blog. Of books to read and books I've read. Of stuff to cook. Suddenly realising there’s a name for all the info keeping – a commonplace book.
• Reading lots. I've found my mojo again I think. And I've lots of new book ideas from Laura and the year in books.
• In awe that people can actually read. BigR is doing phonics at school. She’s blazing a trail in phonics and I’m struggling to keep up – letter sounds, blending, and the songs…I keep using the wrong tune with the rhyme!! Learning to read is really hard – especially for the parents!!

I try to be

• Patient. In all aspects of my life but especially with small children.  I’m finding it hard to moderate my voice and not let the frustration show. I know I’m not the only one attempting  to get shoes/uniform on, hair sorted toys off the middle of the stairs all in the 2 minutes before we leave the house. I have to remind myself that BigR is only five. And might need to be told more than once with extreme patience.
• On top of things and I think I’m getting there. Term started, my admin support went off sick and my Mum had surgery. I was super busy at work and then really tired. The kind of tired that creeps up on you and you fall asleep with the light on and wake up at 1am and have to get up out of bed to turn stuff off. I've been absent from here and from commenting and I've missed it. Here's to normal (whatever that is) service being resumed shortly..
•  Happy to be sat outside in the rain at a children’s party. Still it was better when the other children went home and I got a go. Thank goodness I’d been prescriptive about pelvic floor exercises!!

I am not

• Going to tire of old rom coms. I love You've Got Mail. It’s very good ironing fodder. And full of great (and coffee related) quotes “The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat, etc. So people who don't know what the hell they're doing or who on earth they are can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self: Tall. Decaf. Cappuccino.”
• Able to remember how to join the initial circle in a granny square and then start the next row. I'll have to youtube it.
• Able to stop buying new mugs. This one is particularly comfy in the hand.

• Going to finish Christina’s sock pattern (I'm on January!) before the end of the year. I’m just not going quickly enough.

I saw this great post from Jennifer and then this good one from Leanne and felt it was a good way to ease back in.

Small happinesses

It’s been a tiring day. Up at 4am with a child who had ‘finished their sleep’. I managed to convince her to go back to sleep (until 5.30am) but sadly I then just laid there, wide awake, waiting for her to get up again and for the morning to start (I used the time productively and got on with my book!). This evening could only be described as a parenting fail. Bedtime was a bit (ha!) of a disaster and she finally fell asleep (ran out of excuses?) around 8.30pm. So after a pretty exhausting day which included lots of walking in the rain, rushing and the horrors of ‘networking’ (shudder) I’m going to focus on things that have given me a little lift over the last week.

:: A new butter dish. Reduced in Waitrose I couldn’t resist it. I’ve coveted an Orla Kiely one but this one will do just as well in the interim...until my birthday. Actually can you ever have too many dishes? I could always use two butter dishes, one for unsalted and salted butter each. Easy.

 

:: Daffodils. I’ve barely been able to walk past the flowers in the supermarket. They cheer up the kitchen on a grey morning or on a sunny morning.

:: Just below the daffs...the dishwasher. Also a source of immense joy (sigh). 

:: One of our cacti is flowering. The buds open and close through the day and are longlasting. There are at least 4 buds on this one so we’ll see if they all open.

:: Lemon and lime curd – I cheated and used this recipe (halved) and the microwave. It’s zesty and sharp and delicious on plastic white bread!

 

:: Train travel with a coffee (black Americano) and a magazine. In this case the journey was short (25 minutes) to York for work. But that didn’t stop my purchases

 

:: Enjoying my job. Attending a conference. I don’t like ‘networking’. I find it hard and I’m not very good at it but I do like learning and listening to inspirational people and that’s what was good today. That and the coffee at the venue.

 

:: Walking through Leeds and York at opposite ends of the day, The weather was grey andA rainy. In fact it only seemed to rain when I needed to walk today! But it was time to think and photograph (poorly I know with my phone) ...before heading home.

 The library and town hall at 8am.

Clifford Tower at 4pm.

:: Planning days out in April...including a baby shower (where we’ll have afternoon tea) and a ‘date’ (getting babysitter!!) with the ABO.

 

:: Making lists and plans. A trip to Ikea is needed (we need a step stool...I have a bruise on my head and a broken pyrex bowl to prove it). Just how many totally necessary items will fall into my basket on the way round? I like the look of the Brakig collection....

:: Rev – possibly the funniest show on TV. As ever Olivia Colman is superb!

 

Sunshine, nice things and waking up

Isn’t it amazing how a few days of glorious (in our case) sunshine and slightly warmer temperatures can improve your mood? Even with BigR waking up before 5am hasn’t dented my mood. I’m embracing the start of spring.

We had a lovely family weekend walking, eating out, a trip to town for a birthday present, playing in the garden, a birthday party and enjoying our new coffee machine (the caffeine addiction runs deep).

Even being at work today, in the bit of my job that has the hellish commute, I’m finding beautiful things, such as the view above.

In amongst all this I slept so badly. I’m not usually one prone to anxiety in the middle of the night. Usually it’s only the children that wake me but this weekend I suddenly awoke and was panicked. I’d forgotten to post out packs for a workshop and spent, what felt like hours, awake wondering what I was going to do. Anyway the first time I could rectify it was today. And I did.  What’s the worst that will happen? The packs won’t be available but the sessions can still run. I‘ve decided that:

:: I need to make more lists

:: I need to buy another notebook

:: I must delegate this sort of task to our new admin person who will be much better at this than me

:: I need not to worry about things when there’s nothing I can do anything about it

I’m looking forward to a random day off tomorrow that the ABO and I plan to spend together probably without the girls for a change. A little bit of time off for us all.

Coffee

I wasn't really a fan of hot drinks. I was more than happy with water, squash and fizzy drinks (or pop as I now call it having spent more of my life in Yorkshire than in my southern roots). Until, that is, I went to university. This is where it began. 

You might think that it was down to lots of late nights and hangovers (and there were some of those) or help to extend study time and give you that extra push to revise some more. 

In effect it was down to three things. 

- I wanted to be social.

- It was cold. 
- I couldn't stand the smell, taste or thought of tea. 

Now I take my coffee strong and black (due to a brief spell dairy free diet to help with my asthma - it didn't so I was soon back to cheese, chocolate and ice cream) and prefer a little of something more expensive than lots of cheap instant stuff.

Our best investment was an espresso maker. There's a milk froth attachment for the ABO to have a warm milk added. I'm not an amazing barista so I hesitate to say cappuccino. It's handy for bigR to have a frothy milk too. 

To start the day, its usually instant coffee. It's quick, easy and necessary whilst I make littleR a bottle and corral bigR into breakfast.

Mid morning is my favourite coffee time. If I'm at home I'll fire up the coffee maker. Currently the favourite blend is Taylor's Italian.

I also frequent a very well known chain who make delicious coffee and add two shots as standard (rather than other chains which charge you for the extra shot) or three shots should you got for the larger buzz! I like to watch the people come and go. If I'm alone I can be silent in the hubbub. The children are well catered for too. The local independent coffee bar also has delicious coffee but is in no way child/buggy friendly. So now the weather is cooler and we need to be inside I'm back to my trusty chain.

Afternoon coffee isnt as frequent these days. It boosts me from my sluggishness. More often than not I need it due to a disturbed night with one of the children or my own galloping thoughts.

By far the best thing about our stay in Italy has been the coffee. Coffee bars exist everywhere. They make the most exquisite coffee. I'm a bit of a heathen and have an americano to make the espresso last that moment longer. Coffee time in Italy isn't a time to linger. It's a brief moment to recharge with caffeine and perhaps also partake of a brioche (various flavoured croissants- nutella- divine). 

My coffee love also extends to a love of mugs. You can beat a good mug. The shape, the way it feels full in your hand. That's also part of the coffee experience. Perhaps one day I'll share my mug love too.